I am pretty lost on my nearly 10mo. He was the perfect sleeper as a newborn up until 4 months and since then it has been up and down. It’s recently escalated and I’m so sleep deprived.
He has a set nap and bedtime routine.
He has white noise, sleep sack, blackout blinds and a comforter.
He’s on 2 naps with wake windows of 2.75-3.5-3.5.
First nap is the easiest, second a bit more tricky and bedtime can be a battle.
We do his bedtime routine of bath, story, bottle, rock, bed. The bath excites him and he’s so wriggly for getting into PJs - is it worth moving this earlier and not having it part of the bedtime routine?
He’s a VERY active baby and is never still unless in a buggy or asleep - even asleep he is all over his cot.
He wakes regularly in the night but does want to sleep.
I’m looking at sleep training (even thought I’m against it) but have no idea what method to pick. I want him to do minimal crying (it’s not for me plus he can vomit if he cries too hard).
I feel like I am trying hard to do everything to help him sleep but he just can’t stay asleep!
I know firsthand how frustrating this can be. Sounds like your little guy hit the 4 month sleep regression and is having a hard time adjusting to his new sleep cycles. Understanding where this sleep regression comes from and how it changes things may help you understand why this can be a really hard time for babies: 4-Month Infant Sleep Regression | Sleep Foundation.
That said, there’s a few things we can try to help before you hit full sleep training. (Full disclosure, I am also pretty wary of sleep training for my own little one, but every baby is different and has different sleep needs).
How long is he napping during the day? Are you feeding him every time he wakes up during the night? Do you pick him up right away when he cries at night? How loud is the sound machine? Are you putting him to bed awake or are you rocking him/feeding him to sleep?
Few things to try in the meantime:
- Not cry it out, but give him a minute before you pick him up at night. After a sleep cycle, we all wake up (even adults!) to some extent. You probably don’t remember these awakenings because you fall right back to sleep rather quickly. Babies don’t have as much practice doing this so they can get fussy when they want to fall back asleep after a sleep cycle (this is why babies often wake up every 30-45 minutes as newborns). Give him a minute to settle in when he cries at night. I wouldn’t let him cry longer than 10 minutes, but if he’s just fussing and not really crying, do your best to let him figure out how to put himself back to sleep. Of course, if he’s really crying, attend to him.
- Make sure the noise machine is up high. You want it to be about the same sound level as a running shower.
- Make sure you’re putting him to bed awake. This can be really hard at first but can really pay off in the long run. Same thing as above with regards to sleep cycles. If he’s falling asleep in your arms and then waking up in his crib, he can get confused or scared which can make it harder for him to connect those sleep cycles.
Last note - I think the bath is actually probably doing more good than you think. Getting those wiggles out in the bath is probably great for him before bed. Keeping that same routine can really do wonders in triggering his brain that it’s time for bed.
Hang in there! Come back to this thread and we can chat some more.