All my life I’ve been a terrible sleeper. As a child I was afraid of the dark, and of bad dreams. When I had my daughter 17 years ago,I went 7+ days of no sleep. From that moment on my sleep has been absolutely terrible. A good night I may get between 2-4 hours, but there are so many nights I just lie in bed, trying my best to relax and end up trying to focus on my breathing all night. I go through periods where my sleep is ok, often at least falling asleep. But than there are periods on endless nights of nothing. I’m resting, but not falling asleep. In February I had my second child, and my sleep has been terrible all over again. As I’m writing this I haven’t slept in about 5 days. My head hurts, I’m exhausted, I’m sick at the moment, and it’s hard for me to do much during the days. I have no energy or motivation. I don’t drink, I don’t use drugs, or prescriptions. I don’t know what is wrong with me. You’d think after this many days and feeling like this I’d pass out, but I don’t. I need help. I have never slept 8 hrs or even 6 hrs for as long as I can remember. I feel like something is seriously wrong with my brain. I lay in bed relaxed, not thinking of much other than just take deep breaths, I feel relaxed. And as soon as I feel restful, it’s like my heart/ chest quickens again, feels like my eyes flutter a bit, and it’s like anxiety from nowhere, and the cycle continues all night. My brain literally hurts, my eyes hurt. I’ve done sleep studies before, but I don’t sleep, so it’s like the results are inconclusive. Never found anything out. Looking for help, as I feel this problem is killing me.
Hi there - first, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Existing on little sleep is so much more challenging than people realize. You said you just had another child, congratulations! Do you have help? A partner, friend, or family that can come by and allow you a few hours to yourself? I wonder if you try to sleep during the day you may avoid some of that nighttime anxiety you have been experiencing.
I have heard from others I have worked with in the past the same thing about the anxiety/chest quickening when falling asleep. The reasons range, but some trends have included sleep problems during the night, especially sleep apnea. Your brain may associate falling asleep with not being able to breathe (sleep apnea or other sleep-related breathing disorders) and may be trying to protect you from that. Have the sleep studies you’ve tried been in a sleep lab? The at-home options sometimes have lower requirements for the hours you need to be asleep. They may also be a better option since you’ll be in your own environment which should cut down on some of the anxiety.
All this said, it sounds like you need to see a medical professional (which I am not), whether that’s your doctor (who can refer you to a sleep specialist MD) or a mental health professional. It’s not normal or safe to be this sleep-deprived, and there are solutions that they will be able to recommend.
Hi
I am in the uk,im sorry you have this problem/condition, but i can sympathise with you all too welll
Back in the 80s i had surgery at the base of my skull behind my ear, up until then I slept like a log, a few weeks later i started with insomnia! I went straight into the condition, over the 40yrs i have tried e everything and anything, i could write a book on my experience!
Every doctor consultant or therapist hadn’t a clue, and none of them would follow up on my questions about whether it was due to the surgery,
Over the years i had to resort to medication but hated having to take tablets albeit i
Only had 2 prescriptions a year because i was afraid of becoming addicted to the medication, but over 40yrs i have had cronic sleep deprivation plus the toxin from the tablets!
I am now in my 80s and have been diagnosed with parkinson’s disease, which we know is a brain problem (sometimes caused by stress and toxins in the body long term) i am adamant that the years of having this problem has brought on this disease, but guess what
The so called professionals would never agree!
I do hope you can find an answer to your problem, i think you have more chance if you live in USA.
Hi, I’m no good expert but I discovered after my GP told me I was just getting old that I have sleep apnea.
I did a home study which may not supply all the information a specialist needs but enough to tell me I stopped breathing 27times an hour. The ones in hospital are awful.
Urinating all night, being woken as soon as I slept, being tired, all symptoms my GP missed.
Told me fear or flight as I was so tired.
I actually was going to sleep, not breathing, waking up numerous times per hour.
On apap now finally just put my mask on and sleep. Still working on a pressure that works though.
It takes a while to learn how to sleep again. I was totally unaware that I wasn’t breathing.
Hi, thank you for the reply. I have done both sleep studies, at home and at a facility. Both didn’t give any results as I didn’t fall asleep. I have just been referred to a more advanced sleep clinic I was told. So we’ll see. The sleep apnea makes a lil sense, as there are times it seems I am holding my breath, although I’m not meaning to, and I have to focus on breathing.
The baby sleeps fine. He’s not keeping me up, and I can’t sleep during the day either. Even long before I had him, I battled this and couldn’t sleep no matter the time. I did get a few different supplements and have began taking them. I fall asleep for about 1-2 hrs, and that’s pretty much it.
Hello Winifred!
I know I am not the only one who suffers this, and it is hard to understand why people like us are affected while those around us sleep just fine, or like you used to. 40 years is a long time, and I definitely don’t want to have to rely on pharmaceuticals to get rest. I’m trying natural supplements right now. And trying to get better with a sleep/ awake routine, and making sure to get morning sunshine and grounding, all of which I hear helps. So I’m trying it all!
I’m sorry about the Parkinson’s! I can’t imagine that only adds to your stress. Have you ever tried a detox? I’m looking into that. I hear they’re good to do every now and then. Just do a search, heavy metal detox. It might help something. I don’t really trust that medical professionals have our backs, the same as how I feel about the government. I wish you peace over your mind and body, and pray you’ll be able to manage this new condition. 
Being referred to a sleep specialist, so hopefully they’ll be able to figure it out. My best friend has sleep apnea and the machine has definitely helped her. I guess we’ll find out eventually what my problem is- hopefully!
Thank you so much, a detox will be my next step! I expect i shall have to scrutinise everything i buy now.
I wsh you all the best for the future.
Many thanks.
I was in the same condition three years ago. I did a sleep study and found that I had sleep apnea. So I got a CPAP machine that keeps me from snoring and waking myself up. The other things that I do now to help me sleep are:
- I take Zinc Magnesium PRO from GNC that has other sleep aids before i go to bed.
- I go for acupuncture treatments.
- I meditate before going to bed.
- I listen to EquiSync which are binaural beats.
- I have grounding pads under my feet when I sleep. In the summer I’ll also walk barefoot on the ground. This really has helped me over the last year. Our bodies are electrical and need to be grounded to the earth. Grounding has helped a lot of people with this.
I’ll sleep 4-5 hours then get up to use the bathroom. Then I’ll go back to sleep for another 2-4 hours. I feel so much better now.
I would add to those excellent tips about grounding and music with the following:
Low GI carbohydrates like oats for snack before bedtime - I add linseeds, coconut yoghurt, and berries
Eat snack at the same time and bed at the same time
Sounds like supplements a no go but I use a few eg: melatonin, magnesium glycinate, L theonine and one with lavender. I also use lemon balm for calming.
I do vision therapy so there are exercises where you look at a chart while walking and regularly breathe and blink.
Anything for the nervous system eg: gargling, humming, massage, cold water on your face
Regular exercise - I walk at 7.30am see some sun
I also drink a couple of tablespoons of concentrated tart cherry juice before going to bed. The GNC Pro Zinc Magnesium also has L-Theanine, L-Tyrosine, L-Tryptophan, GABA, and just 1 mg of Melatonin. I take this also just before bedtime.
I also do walking, yoga, and I see a Reiki healer.
Oh yes I’m just started Yin yoga and my sleep cycles were so even (on my watch) the best sleep ever. Thanks for the reminder. Tell me more about the cherry juice please?
Tart Cherry Juice helps your brain make melatonin. So it’s actually better than taking a Melatonin supplement.
Nice I’m interested. That’s why I have rolled oats.
I am really sorry you’re going through this it sounds incredibly hard. Chronic insomnia, especially after years of disrupted sleep and anxiety around sleep, can take a serious toll on your body and mind. What you’re describing sounds like a mix of sleep anxiety, hyperarousal, and possibly postpartum-related issues.
It’s important to reach out to a sleep specialist again, ideally one familiar with complex or treatment-resistant insomnia. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) has been very effective for many, even when meds don’t help or aren’t used. You might also benefit from seeing a psychiatrist who can help rule out underlying anxiety or neurological issues contributing to this pattern.
You deserve rest and real support. Please don’t give up on getting professional help.
Hello. I know the feelings you describe right down to the fear of the dark & nightmares. My Dad even had our power company install a street light in our backyard to light up the darkness. It made a significant difference in my young life and to this day, I sleep with a lamp on. But, to me, physicians do not realize how awkward the whole CPAP process is and my physician was kind enough to prescribe me oxygen at night in addition to my CPAP. Knowing my desaturations to 73% for 3+ hours wouldn’t occur as easily, also helped me sleep. But, I still have difficulty falling and staying asleep, so I take NyQuil. I know many would not advocate this, so I ask that you discuss it with your physician, but my sleep doctor knows that I take it. I am totally honest with her and that also helps my relationship with my doctor. I take 2 scoops of NyQuil right before bedtime (I do not drive after taking it), and I get 3-5 hours of sleep. I still awaken to go to the bathroom, but I can fall right back asleep. Leave a light on, maybe even leave tv on low volume, or, my husband and my 2 dogs listen to a CD called SleepEase and we are all out like a light. We love sleeping with our animals (2 yellow labs) and their warmth and furry comfort and protection offer many pleasant dreams. First, know you are not alone, even the fear of dark part, and know that a good sleep physician is worth their weight in gold. This is a safe forum and I do not believe people will judge you. I truly wish you pleasant dreams and many nights of comfort. Talk to your doctor about any medication - even over the counter meds, try leaving a light/music on, snuggle with a precious animal, and get some z’s. Wishing you the best!
Thank you for sharing your story — I can’t imagine how exhausting and frustrating this must be for you. Your description really highlights how complex and challenging chronic sleep issues can be. It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed when the usual tests haven’t given clear answers yet.
I also want to say how wonderful it is to see this entire thread filled with such supportive and thoughtful advice. It’s inspiring to witness a community coming together to help and encourage each other through tough times like these.
Please keep advocating for yourselves and seeking the care you need. You’re definitely not alone, and we’re here to support you every step of the way 