After my 22 birthday at the end of university finals, where sleep was neglected, i got home, for the summer, that was the first not I stopped falling asleep altogether. I had quit all caffeine m the next day, just when about my routine as usual exercising twice a day, but I actually got lost on a route I had done dozens of times. I had to gps directed my way back which I never need on my bicycle. Everything just felt a little surreal. Another night I went without sleeping, three in a row. Three days of sleep deprivation in a row, I had spent most of that time in bed sweating profusely. I started acting hype sexual. It was so embarrassing. Eventually parents called a “mental health” crisis team, and this was the beginning of a journey in all the wrong dot. They asked if I wanted to go to the ER. All I said was if there can help me sleep sure. At the ER I started to hear very distant auditory hallucinations, thy put me in a suicide prevention room. Then they dumped me out with a depression diagnosis, but I wasn’t depressed. I was sleep deprived , so I ended up the next day in another emergency room this was almost five days without sleep. The hypersexuality was getting worse, at the second ER I asked the female staff for favors, I was aware but sleep deprivation was had taken control of the wheel. I was also thinking delusionally that I was in some sort of sex dream, that was just going on for a long time. I was scolded for trying to “self gratify,” saying I was just trying to get to sleep. I start gave me some Benadryl and took my blood pressure 176/98. It wThen the ER doctors decided to send me the wrong way again. Straight to the psychiatric hospital. Terribly silly place to send someone for sleep deprivation. I wasn’t suicidal, I wasn’t depressed, I was sleep deprived and horny, I asked the staff why I can’t sleep and all they came up with was your “bipolar,” having a manic episode thinking the TV is talking to you. I couldn’t even get a few words out to say, I know I am hallucinating, and I don’t feel good or elated I’ve been spending this time trying to sleep, and well sleep around. I went and kept asking the female staff for favors, I was definitely not myself, and the blood pressure readings kept coming up high. No mention was made of this, no discharge paper work on hypertension from any facility.
This place threw me on max doe of zyprexa and depakote to get me to sleep, it worked, for a while, but it came at the cost of making me someone who came in with a bmi of 19.8 to almost obese, within a span of four weeks. I kept asking around why I can’t sleep and their explanations never felt satisfactory. Well eventually I got back into university switched medication under a better psychiatrist and I literally stayed with the exact same medications for seven years and had not a single relapse, until one day the medications suddenly stopped working. The insomnia turned into total sleep deprivation, this time I made to sure to complain about tha, but this other ER doc tried some benzo sleep meds, and I o my managed 2 hours, afterwords they said go to the psychiatric hospital, a different one, it was the biggest mistake of my life. They threw me on zyprexa, it didn’t work, they tried upping my seroquel for, it don’t work, eventually I had been up for 8 days in a row, then the doctor slammed me with a massive dose of b52, I asked this psychiatrist doctor if I had anti nmda receptor Encphalitis, she had never heard of it, but it can present with all the symptoms I was having, but she decided I didn’t have it despite zero training or experience, or even academic exposure. So the b52, it did get me sleeping, but she also threw lithium on top of it, and claimed it would help me sleep and protect me from brain damage. Well only two weeks after getting out of the hospital, the I was having signs of NMS, catatonia, benzo addiction (more like physical addiction as I didn’t really like it, every day I just kept taking it earlier and earlier as it was the only relief form the Akathisia. It was so severe I was unable to swallow food, and again my primary care doctor recommended I go back to that same psych hospital, which this time was even more a a disaster than the first, thy took me off every thing, cold Turkey.
I tried trazedone, melatonin, depakote again, some melt under tongue benzo, I ended up spend:oncoming_automobile:ing 240 hours, the entire hospital stay awake. I was seeing black bugs crawling around everywhere, shadowy wolves running in the corner of my eyes, I even had visual hallucinations where people’s faces would melt and morphe into different people and have large growing canines. Even while they tried to put me on lurasidone I still had extracampine , visual and auditory and auditory hallucinations. Cleari even had a another rare type of hallucination of command written illusions the words in my books and journal transformed to say stuff like you burn in hell and it’s okay to pee in the shower. I’ve never heard of anyone with primary 
psychosis I saw demonic red eyes though the window pane. having this type of hallucination. I even started to here have an illusion of the running water talking to me. A little bit like how Harry potter hears the bsnake in chamber of secrets. The thing is I knew I was hallucinating even though it felt so real. This bloody stupid hospital induced complications were slowly being treated, but I was having problems with myloclonic left side seizures, causing me to spill my trays of food and such. They would later “diagnose,” me as a hypochondriac for thinking I might have a neurological cause to my symptoms,hell the paper work even omitted the entire reason for this hospitalization, th horrendous side effects from b52,.
I wonder if those hallucinations th very vivid ones were caused by Nero withdraw as I never had anything this vivid before. The hospital decided to” diagnose” me with schizoaffective bipolar type, in spite of definitely not having an elated mood or anyone in my family with either condition. I feel it does not adequately explain why I can’t sleep. I lied my arse off after I came to the conclusion they could t help me there. You know how quiet and dark and easy a place a psychiatrisc hospital is to sleep? Well it’s loud, the walls were paper thin, patients having severe untreated apnea from how fat they are from their meds, people having schizo episodes, me hearing the water running in every single room, I knew exactly when anyone went to the bathroom to shower flush, and sometimes I could tell if they washed their hands or not. Well I didn’t want to take benzos again so I lied and said I was sleeping on 25 mg of trazedone. I wasn’t, but that got me out of there and I took three times the prescribed dose and 20 mg of melatonin, now that th doctors didn’t get a say. Or of of them really understood that not only did I want to sleep, I wanted to know why I can’t sleep.
So When you see doctors what they seem to be really interested in is there anything that they can fix, rather than finding the root problem, it’s just led to stacking more and more medications (finally found some combo that works, dayvigo, queitiapine, trazedone, melatonin( but now we stack on top of it a cpap because in addition to insomnia I find out that I have sleep apnea which I brought up at the psych hospital and of course they said no you don’t have it without any proper testing, and also the sleep study I had foundREM sleep without atonia, which I had brought up as well as I had hurt my hand, I even sleep walked and sleep at at the start of this second hospitalization. Of course they didn’t care about that thre either. It was the wost summer of my life. Here I am a year and half later still no answers after so months of getting from zero to two hours of sleep a night then to five, the finally thinking I got the right combo, getting a solid 14 hours in of recovery, but only a few days later bam, one hour, next day zero hours.
I had to end a vacation early because of it. Finally a found polypharmacy combination that worked. My life now revolves around multiple runs to the pharmacy a month, to pick up medications that they have trouble stocking. The pharmacy has failed to fill meds on time, and as expected when one of them has me on a forced withdrawal I get 2-5 hours of sleep with a massive headache. I follow up with a sleep doctor that actually diagnosed the sleep apnea, and the rem sleep without atonia and I asks why can’t I sleep at all? He said he didn’t know and asked if I hallucinate after days of not sleeping and they start small around the 72 hour mark, a the hypersexuality is a problem too. But my mood is not elated and I do not have decreased “ NEED,” for sleep, I still NEED it it’s just my ABILITY to sleep is gone. I have read academic papers about anti nmda receptor Encphalitis, and found it can present with total insomnia, and myoclonus like mine. But no the neurologist I saw said I would have to be in the hospital before testing for it, but dang, I’ve been to the hospital three times, an so many of the psychiatric medications failed! The o my thing that worked was stuff that got me to sleep. I don’t just want these band aid fixes that may fail out anytime, I wan answers, scientific answers, like the way I could explain narcolepsy as a lack of orexin hypocretin caused by anti bodies, and a cure would be damn nice too. Anyone have similar experiences? Did it you had similar experiences what would you do next if your meditations an cpap, all stopped working, again.
My worst nightmare is not sleeping again, the whole waking world becomes an unitmare and so many of the treatments only managed to make me so much worse, even severely catatonic.does anyone actually have answers like the ones I am looking for? I even thought I might have some word reverse version of Kliene Levine syndrome; as I literally never feel sleepy and end up going past week long stretches away in spite of sleep efforts all unsuccessful.
You know the reason people want doctor house as their doctor isn’t his bed side manner it’s his ability to find out what’s wrong not just his ability to slap some band aids and say come back when they fall off.